I will try to relate some of the theory we learned this term to a recently-noticed phenomenon around me, of girls giving so much of themselves away to their male partner in relationships. I'm a pretty open person, and I'm not advocating the building of even more barriers between people; however, a few of my girlfriends lately have found themselves buying into the often-played-out-but-never-reflected-on behavior of compromising their dignity and values just so that their partner will, I don't know, "keep loving them"? I also don't want to give the impression that men in relationships are just their to suck the souls of the women they are with, but I don't think that either realizes the power dynamic at play. Has the Cosmopolitan culture really rendered us as unconsious as Adorno and Horkheimer claim? I would like to think that both men and women who are in hetero relationships are able to somehow see the damage they do to each other by playing into the norm reinforced by headlines like "21 Sneaky Tricks to get guys to do what You Want", or "How to Ego-Stroke Your Man."
The manipulation that is so often flowing through the social interplay of men and women in liberal-capitalist society is baffling. The need for us to believe that we are all equal, liberated, and powerful, while at the same time swallowing the notions that we, as women, need to bend over backwards so much that we break is sick. This might not make sense so much, but I am still trying to fit my thoughts together, and also understand the emotions that go along with loving someone.
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2 comments:
Last Friday I heard a story of a young girl (about 16 years old) who is known to have a much older “boyfriend”; this girl was being ‘checked out’ at the hospital and was found to be brutally sexually assaulted “down there”. When questioned about it, the girl, very honestly, responded that he was her boyfriend, and she was his girlfriend, and that he was "allowed" to force himself upon her. This disturbed me; I nearly cried. Sexual education here, as everywhere else, is an unfortunate joke. The education that you described actually sounds to be about twice as good as that which I remember. We are taught what is “normal” and “right” through the culture industry; numerous children learn about what they think is sex by finding their older brothers porn collection. Maybe it is for capitalism’s benefit that the schools teach women that they are subservient to men so that they will continue to reproduce its labourers.
To me this problem you've described about your girlfriends is the most frustrating issue I find presented under the umbrella of "popular culture". To me the whole idea behind Cosmo being a women's magazine is completely disgusting. Not to sound self righteous - I bought my fair share of Cosmo magazines when I was young (bought being the operative word). The minute I stepped back and thought about what it was that I was reading the tactile shock set in. It no longer became some sort of sex education tool (I'm sure everyone's gotten at least one hint from it sometime in their lives) nor something to look at for the latest fashions. Upon every flip of the page I found a disgusting feeling stayed with me, one that made me feel subordinate and that I in some way "had" to please the man I was with. Now after this enlightenment period I went on a bit of a preaching rant telling every female I knew of the magazine's evils. For there were 8/10 cover titles that had to do with women being subservient to men! This coming from a strong-powerful-woman-in-the-workforce magazine that young women cannot get enough of! Can't they see what its perpetuating?! Clearly this is a subject I could argue to my grave (and will). I propose that like the example Taps gave in class of that group of women that would go around with stickers saying "you don't need this shit you're beautiful" have a revival and stick them all over the magazine shelves. If I had more balls, money and time I think I would do it myself. So if anyone from that group is reading this...come back!!!! The women of today need you and your sweet sweet message.
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